I sometimes read back through the archives of my blog. It helps me remember what the girls looked like two years ago. Or what feelings I was having (all the feelings). Last night I read over the three posts where I explained that we were moving – part 1, part 2, part 3. And it makes me want to go back to talk to that girl that I was and tell her “everything is going to be ok”. I’m not saying everything will be easy. Or everything will be fun. Or you will have the time of your life! That girl was scared. Terrified. She was so worried about starting new and making a new life and giving her kids less by wanting to give them more. She was newly pregnant and overwhelmed. And if I could go back and hug her and comfort her I think she could feel a lot more peaceful about the future.
When Kelly took the job and came down to look at churches he went to mass with just the girls (I had to stay in Omaha for a church committment). He said to me after mass “you have to meet the priest. he’s amazing.” and I thought, well, ok, that’s strange. Amazing? I don’t think I had ever heard my husband describe a priest as amazing. But his enthusiasm helped me to agree to come to this parish and hold out for a house in the neighborhood. And to give things a try. I now think the holy spirit was calling us here.
I’m not going to lie and say it was easy to move. Clearly it wasn’t – home but not home was a sad, post-partum hormonal post, but it still held some truth. I was here, living amongst so many people, and yet so lonely too. Moving in the winter was hard. Moving while pregnant was hard. It took me a good year to feel at home here. I was invited to join a bible study. I felt more involved with the church and school. I started running again and met some lovely women. I also posted an update on the above post. And it still holds true. I feel a lot of peace about being here now.
I miss our old friends and my old neighborhood. I miss our old church and school. I miss the restaurants. I don’t think that will ever change. But we have met some wonderful friends here, people we are truly blessed to have in our lives. My parents and one of my sisters are here. We have a vibrant and lively church. Our school is very active and involved and the kids love it there. I’m finding enough places to eat. ;) We visited a new (to me) area of Sioux Falls this weekend and I remarked that I had never seen this side of SF before, that it was a nice place to be. And I began to ponder (out loud, my poor husband) how I think we can be happy (or unhappy) just about anywhere. It’s really what you choose to focus on and what you choose to do with what you have. Put yourself out there, let yourself be vulnerable, discover new places, find out who you really are. And just be grateful for every second of it, that’s the lesson I continue to learn.