enjoy parenting

I get a newsletter in my inbox every day from enjoy parenting. Some days the newsletter is more or less meaningful to me at the time I read it. But the one I got yesterday really struck me as important and I’ve been thinking about it nonstop ever since.

“:: Unreasonable Love ::

To love *unconditionally* means you don’t need a
“reason” to justify loving. In other words…

1. When you have a good reason to love, then you love.
2. When you have a good reason *not* to love, you love anyway.
3. You love for no reason at all.

In our conditional-loving culture, “reasonable” loving
is the norm. So today let’s practice the second and
third types of loving…

Whenever your child behaves in a way that would
conventionally be seen as an excuse to love *less*,
be a rebel and love *more*! That doesn’t mean praising
behavior you dislike, it means responding with your
heart wide open.

Also, draw a heart on the back of your hand (or create
any easily noticeable cue), and whenever you notice
it, say “I love you” or offer your child a hug, a
loving gaze, or any loving gesture.

How does it feel to love “just because”? Are you
willing to love *yourself* “unreasonably” too? “

Are you able to love unconditionally? To love when you don’t want to? It’s easier to love kids like this. But how about your husband? And how about yourself?

My reminder:

wishing for….

Kelly & I aren’t exchanging gifts for each other this year.  These are the categories we use to get the girls gifts:

want
need
wear
read

So I’m going to devote a few posts to what I would want if we were to exchange gifts.

A few things on my ‘read’ wish list.

Fall 2009 Stitch Magazine.

A Living Crafts magazine subscription.

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years.

Carefree Clothes For Girls.

The Kind Diet.

new blog love

Some new blogs I’ve been loving lately.

Wide Open Spaces. I can’t get enough. Seriously beautiful blog and even more beautiful content. Love it.

Maus & Nugget is about a family in San Francisco and I love seeing the city life through their blog.

Monday best of last week: link style

the secret life of high energy parents – a great list!

must the show really go on? a great post on the holiday season and priorities on Ordinary Courage.

permission to rest.

stunningly gorgeous pictures of a trip to North Carolina.

this post on a cup of jo made my mouth hang open in amazement. stunning.

great parenting post here on apples for poppy anne.

simplicity on uncommon grace – fantastic post.

no one is perfect no matter how perfect it all looks. worth a read on bullseye baby.

Today at church a family sat in front of us who I had never seen before.  Not a huge revelation as we go to a very large church.  But then I recognize one of their little boys as one of Cora’s classmates.  I introduced myself to the mother in the cry room and now we are not strangrs.

But all day I had been thinking about this family.  They look like the perfect family.  Gorgeous parents – something out of a magazine, really.  Four beautiful little children.  The oldest was probably only 5 or 6, and they were really good throughout mass.  I didn’t realize they lived in this part of town so I asked if they were new to it and in fact they were.  So that prompted me to learn where they live.  And as I realized that their house costs over three times as much as ours, I cringed a little bit (inside).  These people are not only good looking, have great looking (well-behaved) children, and seem very nice, but they are also very  wealthy.

I’ve been struggling lately.  I try to think we don’t do the “keeping up with the Jones’” business.  I drive a 6 year old, hail damaged min-van.  The husband’s car?  A 1993 Geo Prizm with paint that is peeling off from too much time out in the sun.  Our house is not filled with fany furniture.  Our clothes are nowhere near designer.  Our splurges are very much deliberated and are

So why is this family and their perfect looking life bothering me?

Then I got on here and checked my google reader.  And this great post on bullseye, baby! came up and it was kind of just what I needed today. And she even linked to a great post of hers that was written a few years ago called stacking up. This post seemed spot on for what I needed to read today.

So I’m going to focus on the lovely bits of our lives and try to remember that even the most perfect looking family surely has problems too.  I’m going to remember sunshine filled walks around the block gathering leaves.  I’m going to remember yummy breakfasts at our local neighborhood dive.  I’m going to remember girlie hugs and wet cheek kisses.

 

I’m going to try (again) to enjoy what we have instead of wonder what we don’t have.  Because if I even start comparing our life to anyone else’s life, then I will start down that slippery slope of not ever being able to stop.  There will always be someone better looking, someone with more money, someone with more kids or less kids, someone with a bigger house, or someone with a more mindful mindset.  And I don’t want to go there.

Please tell me I’m not alone in this struggle!  And what do you do to keep yourself from falling into this mindset?

Hope you are enjoying your Sunday!  It’s absolutely gorgeous here.  We are headed outside as soon as naps are over.

Our Advent Calendar, 2009

You can see a picture of it from last year in this post. And I’ve finalized our list of what we are doing on each day so I’m going to share it here.

I cut these up and stick the appropriate paper strip in the little stocking and the girls get to pick one each day.

Sunday – November 29 – Read Sunday Gospel – Lk 21:25-28, 34-36 & Put up Christmas
Tree.

Monday – November 30 – Make Christmas Orange Pomander.

Tuesday – December 1 – Make paper snowflakes & decorate the windows. Inspired by this.

Wednesday December 2 – Work on paper chain together to put up and decorate the house.

Thursday – December 3 – Make sugar cookies with Grandma Deb.

Friday – December 4 – Deliver cookies to neighbors.

Saturday – December 5 – St. Nicholas Day (tomorrow) – put shoes out for St. Nicholas.
Reading – Luke 3: 1-6

Sunday – December 6 – St. Nicholas Day at the Cathedral.

Monday – December 7 – Write a letter to Santa Claus.

Tuesday – December 8 – Take letters to post office to mail to Santa Claus.

Wednesday – December 9 – Make Grandparents Christmas cards (and for teachers at school). Thinking these.

Thursday – December 10 – Put out the Nativity scene.

Friday – December 11 – Family Pizza Night – make your own pizza.

Saturday – December 12 – Reading – Lk 3:10-18

Sunday – December 13 – St. Lucia Day.

Monday – December 14 – Make Salt Dough ornaments (for our tree & to give as gifts). Tutorial here.

Tuesday – December 15 – Indoor picnic.

Wednesday – December 16 – Color the Nativity story printout & read through the story. Story to color is here.

Thursday – December 17 – Open a present. Note: it will be matching jammies.

Friday – December 18 – Family Movie Night – Watch a movie complete with popcorn and hot chocolate.

Saturday – December 19 – Reading – Lk 1:39-45

Sunday – December 20 – Make a gingerbread house. (note: we buy a kit)

Monday – December 21 – Read Christmas Stories together.

Tuesday – December 22 – Drive around to look at Christmas lights.

Wednesday – December 23 – Make birthday cake for Jesus

Thursday – December 24 – Read the Nativity story. (note: the one we colored)

bird, bird, bird

I loved this tutorial on Life in Grace and decided to make one today. It was super quick.

I found out about Life in Grace from Darby at Fly Through our Window.

this stuff is garbage

It makes my lips burn. And more dry. And then they crack. And I get sad.

Don’t buy it.

will you take the pledge?

On Jumping Tandem there is an option to take the pledge to say only nice things to yourself for 21 days. I’m in, are you?

“

travel essentials (that I forgot last time I traveled)

We went out of town a few weeks ago and I packed horribly. We had too much going on during the week and I wasn’t able to give packing the time it deserved (packing for myself and two small girlies takes a lot of time).

So some things I forgot that I wished I hadn’t:

Uggs:

Yes, I know. Uggs aren’t really fashionable. Or cute. But they are functional. And my feet were freezing cold all weekend. I could probably wear socks instead but I hate socks. I prefer bare feet and uggs are meant to be worn without socks. As soon as I got home I slipped them on and I instantly felt better. I wear them like slippers – in the car, around the house, to take the dog out. And I’ve had them since we lived in Connecticut (2003) and they still look brand new.

Aquaphor:

I put a thick(ish) layer of this on my lips every night. I always forget it when we travel though! And the dry hotel air and the dry Minnesota air do not make it any better. My lips were aching when I got home.

Dr. Hauschka Rose Day Cream:

My skin is typically not dry at all but as we switch to winter it gets to needing some more moisture. Add the dry hotel and dry air from the example above and I really need something. This stuff is amazing. I need almost nothing to get my cheeks from feeling dry and tight to smooth and glowing. I love the light scent and I love that the ingredients are good things to be putting on my skin. I’ve recently fell for the Rejuvenating Mask after seeing it on Jora’s blog and it would be another fabulous item to have on vacation.

My Pillow:

(image from potterybarn.com don’t those pillows look lovely)

I never remember my own pillow and I always regret it. There is nothing better than your own pillow to help you fall asleep in a strange place. As long as we are driving (which me most always do when we travel), I should be bringing my pillow (and the girlies’).

Two other things I don’t have pictures for:

:new toys for the kids – I always forget to do this unless we are flying (and it’s because I worry about other people on the plane) but I really need to try to remember.  new toys will make the trip so much better.  Even if it’s just $10 from Target (of stuff that they would play with anyway).  I am going to try to remember to tuck away some birthday and Christmas presents with this idea in mind.

:Fresh fruit – the only way the kids (and adults) get any fruit in them on vacation is if we bring it.  Sure there are places like McDonalds who have an apple option with kids meals now, but it isn’t always the case.  Or they could be out like they were when we ate there on our last trip.  Fresh fruit is so nice to have for snacks too.

Whew, thanks for sticking with me if you did!!  What are your travel essentials?