Or “how things are going”.
Some days are easy. I’m excited about rediscovering the town I grew up in. I’m excited about living near my family. I’m excited about our new Church and the girls’ new schools.
Some days are hard. I’m lonely but surrounded by people. I’m heart broken over leaving the people we love in Omaha. I miss our old preschool and doubt I will find anything similar here. I haven’t found a new midwife practice that I feel at home with (my old midwives were amazing, I miss them so much). I wonder if this house will ever feel like home. This is my view from my favorite rocking chair:
We pulled up carpet from the whole first floor of the house. I was optimistic that the floors might look ok but they are in awful, terrible shape. We have to refinish all of the wood floors on the first floor. They can’t come until the end of December so we can’t unpack very much of the first floor. The next room over is purple with a green ceiling. There are still boxes everywhere (because we can’t unpack). Everywhere I look is mess. Not pictured: floral stained glass on either side of the door. The house is cold and drafty and I hate my new oven and cooktop stove. I’m not trying to sound like a brat. But it’s hard living here when I loved our old house.
Some days I go back and forth between easy and hard in a matter of minutes. I cry easily. I’m assuming this is all situational. That it will work itself out. I’m not able to run because of a pregnancy complication, that isn’t helping my mental state either. I’m assuming we will meet people in our neighborhood and school and get comfortable with new friends. But I just don’t know if the heartbreak will ever go away.